Tag Archives: words

In My Head..

Breathing. Inhale two three four. Hold two three four. Exhale two three four. Hold two three four. Inhale two three four. Hold two three four. Exhale two three four. Hold two three four. Inhale…

To consciously halt breathing is to experience a conscious moment of how it is to be dead. Consciousness is still here observing.

I am sitting at the table, my arms resting on a yellow tablecloth. Yellow in 4 second awareness is symbolic of sunshine, of daily gratitude to this breath.

Gratitude opens the door for those who are materially dead to be in our head . I pour myself a gin and 4 seasons highfructosefreee tonic water. My parents are breathing with me. Along with tea, It was mum’s social drink. I also like scotch, and brandy, like my dad. To say “I like scotch and brandy also, like my dad” , would change the meaning.

Who cares about such linguistic punctiliousness these days. Who cares what my Dad drank. Desperately escaping burdens of the day’s requirements. How hard it is for spirit to live in a material body here. Spirit which is eternal finds no difficulty in anything, it is only humans who forget to breathe. Spirit is breath. Spirits relax the natural soul which is burdened here, but must deal with it.

Inspire, inspiration, breathe in breath. Expire, expiration, breath out death. Breathe in life. And hold for a count of four for awareness.

We are spirit here. And those realists who say, “oh shut up already. Just get on with it”, don’t and don’t have to experience the spirit realms where mind, mind has mountains cliffs of fall, sheer no man fathomed…… oh my dead, my beloved are in my head. and on that four count of stopped breath i feel them encouraging me:
“yes yes yes. It is paradise here where we watch without input and it is hell here when thou’rt unhappy. Be Free we say; “Iree”, says Pun, “Free. Freedom itself, freed for each to frame their own concept, their own game.

Breath is spirit. Luscious awareness of light and dark, life and the mark you make. Breath in for four; hold for four; breathe out for four; hold for four; breathe in…..

 

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Dualism trance-ended.

i am top quark and bottom quark
microcosm and macrocosm
i am a whole made of tiny particles
i am the tiny particle that knows
it is part of a collective whole

i tell myself this stuff and yet i dont listen to myself
i am mystic and rational
my rational mind denies my mystic experience

Humans are feminsasculin. Our minds are all alike in our receptive thoughts, experiences  and feelings; our minds are all unique in our individually lived lives.
My female mind is one across humanity. It is the female experiencing receiving mind ( in two hemispheres of our brains).
Our male mind knows ego. It is unique and active in telling its story and taking actions. Each one of us develops this mind usually pretty firmly by the age of two.

In dio, in god, i.e. knowing all is one and loving it all, because it is oneself.
Indigenous mind; mind of eden planet; loving family, valuing children, respecting each person for their own particular life.

Black and white – polarities of indio/ human mind;
Insofar as we identify ourselves as black or white, with positive and negative connotations,  we fail to recognise ourselves as Indio, the people. One with “god” ie nature and Earth our mother.

This old knowing of the indigenous peoples, is mocked as animism; church religion distorted and co-opted the teachings of the wise. Indios, when introduced to the idea of a loving father god at first accepted it because they knew the experience of living within the embrace of a loving parent. They too were abused. They were named indio, indigenous, aboriginal, by those of the culture which did the mocking and disparaging  and denying of ancient knowing. I am a child of that culture. My rational mind is formed by that culture.
I am of an evolving culture which respects, studies and acclaims indio, indigenous, aboriginal, first people. I too am of this earth and a child of the most high – the sun. I have enough humility to say this, and enough piety to feel awe, and am growing enough self respect to see it through.

Now we who wish to claim our unity as tiny quarks cooperating within a greater whole, as humans in the web of life, rise up and speak. Logos! Word!  We rhyme and blog. We are story tellers, artists.
We are working on becoming conscious to the tiniest quantum wiggle (i name it), and of ourselves as one with the stars, and as ME, hue-man wombman, persona universalis, huomo integralis  in the middle.

Evolving here to prepare for the evolution of our niche, our nest,
death where is thy sting, you are the best.
We get to start again, to play our part again, in the evolving story
in which we know we are ever the glory of the evolving mind
striving to find how to integrate at a higher level
including devil.
My how we recognise him !!!
He is myself; my ego. Please allow me to introduce myself.
All my former lives see through my eyes, all my dead are in my head.

All experience is in my head. “The differential elimination of neuronal connections gives rise to sensory experience.”
Now we know the brain is plastic, we can differentially restore neuronal connections and give rise to an experience of unity, ever greater, ever more successfully communicating with itself.

We are it. Imagination is its play, my lila, the story i tell myself in all its consensual and all its non consensual reality. When i allow myself to see more, to see the whole world as conscious and communicating with me, my visuals and my thoughts united, i see, for example, lightning in distant clouds creating images of electrical activity in a brain. Moon and i are one reflecting and adoring sun.

Stu the Jew devotedly and adoringly loves god who loves him back and thus this hugely hellish experience of human fallibility is given meaning – but only to Stu the Jew. The story evolved. Put “i” in the middle of Jesus and you get Je suis. I AM. Logos . The circle is complete, for those of us who, like Stu the Jew are into the magnificence of Logos pre Babel. That is – it is our delight to create meaning and find coincidences and synchronicities in language. To see the unity underlying all the individual stories and experiences, all the words and worlds.
My rational mind knows this is all blah blah blah and my female mind says,
oy veh! OK. You dont have to try it, but you cant deny it. Consensual, conventional rationality is the basis. We all start there.
waka and biznis district- ceremonial canoe

poetic note for Lucie de L.A.

Sol rose rouge, en levant le signal jaune.
Le mot qui s’enscribe ici, toi et moi, “pronk” like pronghorn lambs, pour joie y Lila;

Pink pink pink – rhymes w stink stink stink
my little boy mind chortles,
blue my color, i redefine girl
beyond gender limitation
tho coming in that box.

Le mot qui s’enscribe ici, moi et moi, dans l’vresse d’orgeuil regressa y lo dire a la vida.

Eve sors de ses pentiments divine. Hissed off au viper.

Now, let us prey upon our soul.

Sun rose red This morning seeking Luna,
silvered fingernail
pas de
amarillo papillon
jejeune, I pink my way across the grass. PASS.

Desperate, Laughing,
I cry.
I breathe…
In.
Sigh
so ham

Cloud’s illusions I recall, now:
vertebrae; and skidding halt
of bunnycloud on trail skid
direct across the sky and then another
on collision path
and yet one more comes in to view.
What is that distant point where they converge?
Ever farther out. Earth orbit.

I love thee, sky, and clouds.
Love is not only desirous of identity
but also of multiplicity
starting in duality
which appears two halves of one,
with one witness
one repetItive breath.

My fingers spelled ‘e’ – repetEtive; my mind tried ‘a’ – repetAtive, and had to look it up.
For a moment, I had forgot about “i”.

gaia-2m

Universal Mind on a Breezy Day.

Today I found a snail sort of frozen like on the footpath – maybe it had just missed being stepped on or ridden over. Cold blew the breeze suggesting freeze up North. I picked Snail up and loved watching its two, four, six sets of eyes as it explored its world – it could pull feeler things back inside itself, the 3rd set doesn’t have perceptible eyes, sometimes just one of them sticks out to explore and, feeling my skin, pulls back like a new baby reaching its little leg out into the air and finding nothing familiar, contracting quickly.  i.e.My mind, you understand , not only projected into it , but also watching it :    it might expect it would feel the same as where its whole body was stuck to mine but the new little feeler was visible to me, in a way its body contact with my hand was not, so I guess it was discovering its unique identity and fearing the new, pulled back.

We humans, so lost in our unique identity by the time we are, well 6 yrs old, forget our unity with all. We identify with our own skin and not with the consciousness that is within every creature and every human. In my mind , that universal consciousness sees with my eyes and finds its oneness in me. Universal Consciousness is not bothered with human concerns, it experiences:  I Am  Snail waking up, I am my granddaughter learning to walk uneven ground and get on up after falling. I Am that Universal Consciousness  in a limited skin calling out for re-cognition here. To be known again, as first people know  – that we are one with it. Wankan tanka, Sacred Mystery.  Ra – Sun .

Will we co-operate or die off.?

At my age, I find many of us have given up on political agitation, as I have given up on local strivings, but the new people are undoing the work we did. An old friend was lamenting to me this morning in the park. Grass planting we put in to save the river bank, “they” want to tear out; “they” have already cut down a tree… We need to teach them what we did, so that they may implement their dreams ( floating dock etc) within the parameters of what we built. It is for all our future, the snails, the children, the old …. let the boat ramp be built where the shore is already hardened..I hurt so much when I realised what was going on and the old man telling me said they wont listen…
I say they just dont know, let ME come to the meeting , I’ll tell them!!!.

It makes me sad, and yet the incredible beauty of everyday, of the sky and the speaking clouds let me know I am so so so not alone. This is new age consciousness. It co-exists here, in my heart where I lay down the rage at dispossession and say to myself – do I not still possess eyes to see snail and river and clouds ? do I not still have skin to feel the cool breeze which speaks of the arctic so gently and the mid day sun which parches thirst? Am I not yet ALIVE. I am always here in my heart mind. I am heart mind of my world which includes thee, who read this rant. I thank you. This morning the fish were jumping, like Salmon going upriver, but just mullet jumping for joy or escape… Fish cannot express that same joy I feel at being alive? Both are true – for I Am my truth.

I guess we either think its too late and shrug or we do whatever we can to help raise awareness in the corridors of power. OR we comprehend how we are in this together. That survival belongs to those who value the common good more than questionable amounts of personal excess.

silk painting and studio experiences …
http://www.elizabethmitchellstudio.com

LECseascape

I AM -Je suis – Jesus! me!

“That’s terrible, see how the Democrats have failed us,” they cry.

“But Trump is letting the insurance companies WRITE the laws,” he said. “You people are so dumb. You are so full of hate and bigotry.”

“ That’s terrible – that’s why we voted for Trump”, a woman had said after hearing about the 60 -80 hour shifts, the dust filled atmosphere, the lack of safety and health precautions, the healthcare provided by the factory which had a $10,000 deductible and no co-pays so workers were unable to see specialists because they could not pay full freight. Their meds had been provided by the factory’s clinic but recently that had stopped too, forcing them to pay full drugstore price.

“That’s terrible, that’s why we voted for Trump”, a man had said after hearing about the insurance policy which did not pay for water damage from seepage unless it was reported within a week of the failure which caused it; which unfortunately had been unavoidably invisible behind a retaining wall.

Divided, we are overruled, and the war against an earth restored goes on.

““““““““““““
“There is no old man in the sky. God is a fiction”, he declared.
“I am god and goddess; nature and humanmind; I am divine in my Totality, and oh so frail in my human egocentricity, which sometimes sees how it is divine”, she replied.
“Go away”, he said, and returned to reading his car magazine.
She walked and admired the squirrel’s nest in the leafless tree, thinking of rocks for pillows, and Finn MacCool nesting mad in the tree, poor unhousel’d wretch. Her mind danced through its cultural references with delight and joy. Anima Mundi flowed through her all day long in moments of bliss in nature, music and art.
When humans are gone, the birds will have to contend with the housecats. Human awareness will be gone along with our ecological niche. Unless we can evolve and become divine – one glorious rejoicing mind.
A smartly designed car passed, she gave a thumbs up to the driver, a young man on her block. She appreciated car design since being with her old man. Her divine mind rejoiced in human invention, grieved at human destruction, breathed in knowing I am Life Force itself, ever here, everywhere, and longing for all to know this glow.

““““““““““““
Listening to a program about fighting cyber crime, she could see the ever escalating madness, the inescapable tit for tat. Hearing about bombings in foreign lands she could see the ever escalating madness, the inescapable tit for tat. The wipeout inevitable on the current mediated course. Meanwhile she took her solace and fed her hope, listening to consciousness rising and filtering through the internet. The joy and happiness she experienced in consciousness could balance out the fear and anger in the world she hoped. Vietnamese had been blitzed by America, they left the past behind and moved on into the present. The behaviour of Christian, Muslim and Jewish nations remained wedded to the habits of a  vengeful god. She longed for the open arms of  je suis  ( I AM aka Jesus)  experienced in herself, to look with love upon the whole world, with forgiveness and understanding and a desire to heal the suffering felt so deeply within the earthbeing that she is.

( for those who dont know. Je suis = I AM in French. and I AM is what “god” calls itself. Exodus 3.14)

 

Jesus wept!!!!

A dissertation on life and consciousness, and an elaboration thereon.

The “I” that is causal of our Inner dimension,  i.e.  our interpretation of the sensory evidence – causes  “this magic moment” ,  in which I define what is. I experience every conscious moment of my life as “this magic moment” – a delightful celebration of being alive.

I am econiche and individual; idea and matter; pattern and energy awareness.This magic moment is ever occuring  when we realise our death, and that we are ALIVE.

Thanatos  means both “death” and “death fascination” .  We became human when we started to bury our dead. We never die because we are consciousness participating in the imaginative creative dimension. Elephants, dolphins and the rest of them are consciousness causal of its inner dimension. Just like me.
I sing hosannas to the unity of experience.
It is only the ego that dies. It was created when we began to bury individuals. Death and god are human notions. I am god, I do not die. My ego self dies – thank goodness.

Elaboration:

My ego is causal of my inner dimension ie my interpretation of the sensory evidence. I cause “this magic moment”, in which I define what is.

Awareness of my sensory experience – hearing, touching and being touched by wind, skin, bark, blueness of the sky, muscle torsion etc  belongs to what can be spoken of as “the witness”. The witness is me looking at my experience and reflecting on it, enjoying it, weaving little stories about it, delighting in the stories i weave about it. This witness is my Inner Dimension. It is Outer – in that it is formed from sensations which are not it. The witness is that which is witnessing that which is. It is a unified field and also an individual experience of universal and unique sensations. Paradox is a necessary element of this thought. Paradox is this: spirit/witness/ ideas of divinity are not separate from the being thinking and witnessing and feeling them. The human being  is uniquely individual and also a  repetition of matter becoming a life form. A human can be a uniquely aware expression of consciousness in time and outside of time.

This moment becomes magic when we realise our death will bring an end to our ego awareness. I am econiche and individual; idea and matter; pattern and energy awareness. I am paradoxically a stupid little ego in a bag of skin and also consciousness itself as my awareness. If I am this – what realms of possibility are open to me?? the stories i tell myself create my potential. We must get the healing done and we are trying so hard to do that.

Thanatos means both “death” and “death fascination” .
This is an interesting point that is lost when we only speak English.We appear to be a suicidal species. I want to change this, starting here.
We became human when we started to bury our dead.
This is an anthropological and ethnological statement.  It is necessarily anthropocentric. We are the story tellers. We are not the only species to bury or mourn our dead. Consciousness can know itself to be one in all its forms, and can see itself dying as this ecological niche, with the nostalgia each human feels as we too become aware.
Elephants, dolphins and the rest of them are consciousness causal of its inner dimension.
Consciousness is awareness of sensation and of a being which is aware. All life is “aware” – flowers turn to the sun, creatures move away from recognisable harms.
We never die because we are consciousness participating in the imaginative creative dimension. We are consciousness.  We participate in the imaginative, creative dimension – or not.
I am consciousness. i am the life force aware of itself as me. I am aware that I , consciousness, became life when water rubbed against rock and created stromatolites; or chemicals in the ocean waters formed structures called chemo auto trophs. These early forms of life were digestive tracts and that is what we are – a complex digestive tract.
i sing hosannas in the unity of my experience.
This is a joyous awareness for me, and utterly ho hum to some others. It is impossible to experience for those who cannot experience it. Those who remain closed to this sort of awareness have chosen that path which is their right. I want to offer recognition of this awareness to others who recognise the significance of such words as “i am” . I am logos. I am my story telling self. The stories i tell myself create my world. I see my god self telling this story in so many ways and so many voices and that excites me, makes me feel like i am contributing to a growing understanding that a science which denies spirit is killing us all.
My friend spoke of two people she had known, who simply starved themselves to death. I can see the possibility of that. It would be a chosen path and an awareness of the totality of life. She said there is a state of euphoria which is reached after the hunger has ceased.
It is only the ego that dies. When we don’t identify with merely the ego in a bag of skin we have access to a delight and joy that could be said to be eternal ( outside of time) and everhere, everywhere.
We die. This econiche is dying. Polar bears and large mammals die with us. Dinosaurs died. Consciousness has been all of this. That which has been cannot Unbe.

When we separate ourselves from the constant cycle of life and death, when we prioritize human needs over others, when we see ourselves as something more worthy than others, when we value our individuality more than the whole… when we identify with the ego in the bag of skin that will die- we can have fear and hide from that fear by business in our lives. All that lives must die. Larger brained animals recognise this. Life is for rejoicing in this magic moment.
Aborigines speak of three realms. The unborn, the living and the dying, and Dream aka Archetype.
I have studied and find truth in many philosophies or religions. Because of my Christian upbringing, I identify with the Jesus archetype ( a dream of a peaceful man) . B.C. there was no C. (unborn) .Then it lived and died as an individual ( or several whose stories were collated), and now it is an archetype. It says, do what you will – i will not do violence. It says i look for the light in others. It says i do not see hatred and meanness, i see injured souls, i see people in fear, i see people projecting their negative experiences onto others, i love all people and i do not meet  haters. This I say too.  And so when this namby pamby lover was strung up he said, “forgive them, they know not what they do” . I strive to forgive myself, to focus on the positive,  to continue to love and to offer my way of loving being alive.

Thank you for your ears.

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