Tag Archives: Duality

Quaker Meditation 4 – TWIjaysus.

Quaker Meditation 4

My divine mind tells itself
“God does not exist” and laughs coquettishly.
Hen cackling in neighbors yard,
another egg.
Meditating, eastern spine cross legged,
feeling like AnansiJesus, I sit, my fingers touching,
my mind Bhakti – a devotional Je t’aime repeating to itself.

No separation is the same as no ego existence. Theoretically and insanely possible, interesting, alienated, able to be loved.

It was the third day. Jesus sat up in the sepulchre, put his cloth around his shoulders and sat cross legged to meditate as He did every morning.

He, aka Twi, walked away from there to here where, for many, the cross symbolizes only 2000 years of Christian history.

That Which Is, Twi, had lived as Mohammed, who with Khadijah sought justice for people. Khadijah’s wise female influence was taken from him. He became more militant than Jesus who with Mary, Magdalen or Mother, tried the quaker pacifist route. Muslims know they are part of the past 2000 years of struggle for justice. No peace without Justice.

“My mind is an empty birdhouse, in which my Zen Buddhist and my Quaker Pacifist sit”. Twi breathed out as she wrote. Ancestral spirits drank Lethe waters dry.
Re – membering.

Beauty mind in beauty way finds itself here where moon can still be seen through a tracery of oak at dawn.

Bistro Morandi, Bottle wall

Image: Bistro Morandi/Bottle Wall. By me – elizabeth mitchell. under contract.

http://www.elizabethmitchellstudio.com Tampa Fla. Art and silk painting classes. Philosophical yoga instruction, Sivananda and Iyengar lineage. HoustonHubbardJudith seed.



Even if she was evil, it is important to recognise the devil. Paradox is. I AM.

The practical world is the world of money that my species has created. Funny that money as coin is called “specie”.  This world came into being as the era of the first peoples and goddess wisdom ended.
This is goddess wisdom:  Earth and all upon it are manifestations as itself of consciousness which is akin to energy.  Energy  vibrates at various levels, the lowest levels are densest – that is the matter which the “specie” species is aware of and sees as resources.
Those of us who are aware, know we are CSNS/energy/YHWH. I am consciousness. I know I am changing form, I know the old will be gone but forever is – it remains as DNA remains. I contribute to Awareness by being aware. This mind of CSNS either ceases to exist as human, as it did w dinosaur, or continues as human in a new form, as dinosaur does in us. The dinosaur smile says “They may say I crapped out as a life form, but no-one can say I didn’t live.”
Try saying I AM god/dess and know that means the consciousness of energy itself in all its manifestations. See the world as a living, communicating being of which “I AM” part, par inter pares. An equal among equals. Delusional in the world “specie” created, LIVING in the world of my mind which IS both inside and outside my head, and dies when I die, yet is “eternally now” (inside and outside of time.)  The world my mind sees is the world I AM creates. I AM Love, humanly imperfect but still trying.


Jumbled Gems. Tyr.

My mind is a treasure house into which gems are dumped without system or sorting. My mind is a gremlin obsessed with making connections and tying things together and leaving them in little piles of like objects , or tied together on a string, or constructed into strange sculptures. These objects litter the surfaces in the treasure house and become covered with dust and more gems randomly landing here and there.
I see so much, have read so much,  have been completely unscholarly and fail to note references. Hypothetical reader, thank you for existing.


one – 1 = being
two – 2 = manifestation and immediately there is
three – 3

Now a material image:
the triangle – eagle , ox, lion and at its apex above the ground the angel – creates a three sided pyramid. Angel comes to earth and 4 is born.

four – 4  the square.   Angel, now human, takes a corner in manifestation along with winged eagle( spirit), ox ( strength power manifestation) and lion ( heart, love, nobility , ideal)

five – 5 . In the hub of the four sided square, Man emerges, rises and creates Pyramids – four sided pyramids. Five apexes of the four sided pyramid represents man with our five fingers and five toes, x2.

Out of the four sided pyramid, making a five apex structure emerges a new emanation from the centre. Now  we find 6, a balance of the original 3, x2.  And out of the hexagon, the 7 emerges etc etc

The system dances among the numbers, the old gods have something to say.


saturday – saturn
sunday – day of the sun
monday – day of the moon
tuesday – Tyrs day  – i reckon Tyr is likely a goddess – a valkyrie reference. Did you ever read When God was a Woman. Or Not in HIs Image – this one gets a bit fanciful and verges off into a male speculation that didnt ring true to me.

Woden, Thor , Freya you know the rest.  wednesday thorsday freyas day

The deities of the south unite with those of the north to create our week.
Once upon a time female was in there, not as a subordinate.


Norse god of war, goddess of Justice . aka Mars- roman god of war,   Martedi is Tuesday in French.   Tyrsday – tuesday.  Tyr – JUSTICE  ( Norse) . Justitia, Sapientia ( Roman goddesses)  – wisdom , legal rules.  The first germanic councils were known as the thing. thing think thought.. This is the human mind working out how to co-exist. Mars consorts with Mammon – the mammary, mother of money. Money is good when it is currency and moving, an instrument of commerce;  bad when it is commodity and held in storage.


I see the connections of all things  – I am pre Babylon, pre fall of Babel’s tower. Bab – the gate…
el – god, elle goddess

I see the connections between all knowledge, all words. There is duality in all things. Too much of any thing is good for nothing – it needs to be tempered by its opposite which is so often hidden. One side of a duality is privileged in our current way, starting with the elevation of male over female, light over dark, etc etc . They co-exist and when one is privileged the whole suffers. Freud described penis envy because in his time no-one envied the vagina. Once woman, the feminine,  was worshipped as the source of life, when Nature was worshipped; when What IS was revered.
Human kind emerged and began to love ourselves more than the whole. We began to love gods made in our image, and forgot we are the human consciousness of What Is worshipping itself in endless hallelujahs of Iration ( creation by the I itself) .

The necessary process of individuation of consciousness, Saturn, the Fall, is reiterated in each human being. We move through 7 levels of consciousness, 7 chakras, towards death. Out of death emerges the new. Goodbye ecological niche, hello unknown flowering of what comes after. Consciousness is forever, it was dinosaurs, it has been polar bears, it has been humans, it has been large mammals – it is all of those still but this era is changing. Ragnarok. the great serpent  has eaten itself and will emerge out of the black hole of all potential blah blah blah

In the pre-written-historic time of the goddess, the male energy was in balance.
In the time of the god, the Saturnian male energy individuated as it always does. Thanatos, death came into the world – along with death wish, also Thanatos. Humans begin to bury their dead.
Sun arose. Son rise .  Day and night – light and dark – duality second chakra.  In cultures with only two words for color, they are always dark and light or black and white, the third word is always red – anthropologists have found this.
Moon awareness, aah horned goddess, the changing of night and day is reiterated in the changing of the moon, and her influence on water, and kidneys. Third chakra.
Then it is Tyr, Regulation, justice, and war to fight down those who are not part of the harmonious system.

Tyr TYR tyr – heart chakra. War has become completely unbalanced in our time and our hearts HURT.  Justice is not considered for those dispossessed.

The days of the week are relatable to the gods and goddesses of old, to the creation of ideas and systems, to the chakras, to evolution, to the big bang and continous creation. It is a glorious jumbled unity in my head, and every day I wake to the bliss of this experience.
CSNS – consciousness , JHWH – tetragrammaton, halelujah; the river runs by the park, the little lizard lies dead on the ground his white belly up, oh little fellow, hello to you in the bardo; my father returned in spirit to my very rational mother and told her “I’m going on”, I see my father’s spirit greeting me as spirit of dead lizard, next maybe he will greet me as angel. I am fulfilling my purpose here. Not as a scholar but as a crazy undisciplined artist who once again has spent time in the pleasure of ideas, rather than the necessary works of the day. One day the shit will hit the fan, hopefully  I will be ready.collage






Dual-Duel and the Common Good

Before the beginning, Charlie Seurat Nomen Silene, Cis for short, was no thing. After the beginning, Cis existed. At the end, – well there were many ends and that was both the challenge and the hope.

“That Cis, she’s really something!,” people would say. When Cis was born, her mother nearly died. Cis grew and flowered, and became a right little animal. beautiful and temperamental and unmanageable. The problem was how to teach her to manage herself.

Her mother was exhausted and could only cope by strapping Cis into the stroller and waiting for the screams to stop. As she grew up, Cis learned to take her tantrums into her bedroom voluntarily, and would stay there wailing until she fell asleep curled like a foetus on her little bed. Her grandmama thought a leash would be a good idea so the toddler could run but not far and explore with subtle supervision. Dogs were taken on leashes and given limited freedom to explore their independent choice of stimuli – surely parents could do at least that much for a child whose curiosity and love of life were like that of a dog, the nonverbal taking in and processing of stimuli being a vital part of exploration and growth.

Before the beginning, number did not exist. Once one precipitated out of nothing which is all potential, there was some thing. Once there was something, there was that which was not that something. There was duality. When there was duality, there was number, for between two things is the space between and around them and that makes three.  Australian Aborigine’s used this numerical system: “one two three, small mob, big mob”, when they talked about sheep or cattle to the manager of the estate.
Chimps in a research institute were given pellets of food at the push of a lever. The Chimps were taught to count. Then the researchers had to count the pellets as they put them in the feeder, because the chimps were now fighting over who got the most.
Words create identity. Numbers are words. This, not this; this and that; one two three many.  Identity creates possession – mine  and yours supersede a wordless ours.

“What do you think of global warming… these chunks of the ice cap as big as Delaware falling off into the sea…? ”
“ My friend who is a scientist says it is a natural phenomenon….”
Siouxie and Felina exchanged inconspicuous looks of disbelief on hearing this opinion from their good friend, whom they had included in their yoga circle some years ago.
“… but it is terrible the way man doesn’t respect nature; the forest where I grew up has been completely destroyed for housing,” opined Anika.
“Let’s not argue about the percentage of influence humanity is having on climate change,” said Siouxie – looking for constructive  synthesis – “ if we can view the evidence, we can support the actions taken to ameliorate the harms.”
Democrat, Republican – we can find a common good, and cut deconstructive arguing.
Climate change deniers and god deniers – we can focus on the evidence and leave interpretation to each for themself. Can a thing be named if it doesn’t exist? All things are “thinks” . Something must be thought of before it can exist. Naming it separates it from the flux. The namer and the named co-exist. That which is denied is still that which is named and therefore has existence of some sort – even if just a vision in someone’s head. The stories we tell ourselves create our world. The square root of minus one is an absolutely fictional number, and yet fictional numbers enable calculations which create bombs and MRI’s, World Wide Web and Fit Bits.
No Thing became  everything, and change is inevitable. We can learn to ride the change or be swept away by it. We can be the Meme or the meme rider. We can harness the horses of paranoia or succumb to negativity. We can know ourselves as CSNS. (see next)

Consciousness, that which is No thing, can be mythologised as the Cosmic Egg of All Potential.  Consciousness, will be hereinafter known by the tetragrammaton  CSNS, the four letters of the name of Consciousness.
CSNS became and is becoming and is now and ever shall be, for Now includes the past and the future which are now No Thing.

Siouxie thought of her mother, who was nothing again, dematerialised.  How is it to know oneself as No Thing while still Something? It can only be done in the mind that is present. The love is, was, and always was a part of her. Apart – not her, as well as a part of her.

The Area Rug – the pattern, the material, and the whole.

The Area Rug

Dad and mum had pulled the chairs back and moved the table aside before he set out for their first big purchase – an area rug – leaving her to mind the babies.

He dumped the rug off his shoulder onto the floor and asked an equally excited Mum to bring some scissors to cut the string.
“I just made a pot of tea; let me pour us a cup so we can sit and admire it.”
“What’s up?” He stomped crossly into the kitchen, where mum was getting the final touches of milk jug and fresh baked tea cake together with the scissors on the tray. She had made his favorite and had been anticipating the pleasure of sitting together to admire his choice. She had allowed the children to play with the precious old Noah’s Ark so they would be quietly amused for at least a while.

He was grumpy, she was hurt, she admired the rug but it wasn’t quite the fanfare
expected, the children broke the giraffe’s neck. And the rug became a piece of family history and a treasure, like a one-eyed teddy, that followed Siouxie around from student digs to her kids playroom floor, to mats for the dog’s house. She had just thrown out the second last piece today.

Ancient Greeks praised the value of a marriage with someone opposite from yourself, in order that you both might grow within its supportive structure, but those early wounds can sting. Compromise results in buried resentment. Accommodation is a more equal path.

Siouxie’s father had told her this story to illustrate how different temperaments have different priorities – “I wanted the immediate pleasure, I couldn’t understand your mum not wanting to see it immediately and then sit and have tea and enjoy admiring it some more – it wasn’t going away!”
Siouxie knew the part of her, that wanted immediate gratification – regardless of the wish of another whose fulfillment required her to lay aside her pleasure.
As for example, part of her that wanted immediate gratification ruled her sleeping hours and refused to release her into material life, where the cold outside the blankets and the decisive action required would keep her from the pleasure of annihilation of the daily ego self and its demands.
An internalised father characteristic which lead to joy and delight, as well as impatience and self defeating gratification. Her mother – her Self – played the part of her that felt unfulfilled – what was she here for???  POETRY:

death breath birth dearth
skim milk of human kindness
brim mink over my cup floweth
nonsense thus i breathe death where is thy stink?
Flies did cluster ‘bout my nostrils – myself dead on the battlefield;
and here I Am breathing and writing, writhing on my bed of sorrow,
orgasmic without pleasure. Is it rape or is it tomorrow?  Yes.
Singularity exploded brain imploded human no more shut the FONT DO.
My mind is its OWN treasure. My mind can find its way home if given enough rope to hang itself.

Marriage of Dualities requires Accommodation, from the microcosm  of the human to the macrocosm of relationship. Between humans and species. Between animal kingdom and vegetable – we are parts of one structure, and contribute to the whole.  Compromise demands too much. Accommodation is evolutionary.Nasturtium WH 942k

Paradox. I AM/am not god: No thing – a think. Cogito ergo sum.

I AM /Am not God. Paradox, your time is Now.

Two sets of three plain brown leaf shapes twirl in different circles at the ends of a twig dangling from a trail of Spanish moss. Calder! I feel the inspiration that inspired Calder to make his mobiles. My mind delights in this.
I experience my human arm around  tree’s torso, its solid strength like a human being, I lay my head against it. We are one made of two. I am tree. I, tree, river see.
“I Am”, says the god concept which is a creation of the human mind, using human language. What is, can be called god. Why bother?  “There is no place God is not.” “God’s center is everywhere, circumference nowhere.” So what!
God is language – logos – “and the word ( Logos) was with God and the word was God.”
Humans are the ones who use language to describe their world. This is the divine activity of humans!
The world exists. What is, is.
We can stop arguing, the position needs no defense. The words are/ are not reality. Words create reality, by separating things. Every thing is first a “think” in a human mind. There is no separation but by naming, then identifying with the story. An essential and essentially misperceived activity.

I am the human mind of god:  From quantum wiggle to cosmic dance, and in the middle, our human circumstance. I exult in this!! I long for Peace.

Peace comes with acceptance of conflicting views. Both can co-exist. Common ground can be found.

I feel the joy of the jumping fish. The fish jumps to escape predators.
I see the face of the moon change communicatively as I observe it. The moon has craters – my eyes  deceive.
I see the traces of alien space ships in the strange burned holes in the pavement, which cluster at a certain part of the road. Natural explicable causes create these marks.
I feel the spirit space behind my eyeballs, behind your eyeballs, and surrounding this world manifested before my eyes. I know I am blood and bone, and beyond my vision the material, measurable world continues.

Spirit thinks in unified awareness. “God” describes the life force in matter which recognizes itself as me, without a care in the world. I, Lib have lots of cares in the world, but when they get overwhelming I can relax and know I am a temporary manifestation of the human condition. What is happening is happening and has happened and will happen to all of us. Extinction, change, rebirth as something new.

I, Lib, am one with the whole, as my finger is one with my body. Humanity as one conscious species has the potential to move as a flock of birds, or a school of fish – each individual entity part of a greater whole. Our egoic identification with our skin encased matter prevents us from feeling the bloody joy of being alive; we feel alive in those moments of freedom from ego concerns. In moments when we feel the pure emotions of love and joy, or are lost in creativity.  Anger, fear, and hatred come from ego’s selfishness, depression comes from I-Am-God’s frustrated longings. To bomb others is to bomb a part of ourself.

I hold to the story that the god mind knows itself to be everything, experiencing itself as everything, in potential, in realisation, in cessation. Matter is information. Information is smeared on the wall of the black hole, the cosmic egg of all potential,  ever breaking forth in big and little bangs, whirling, emerging in new formations, and ceasing – like breath. Awareness is all. This hugely divine awareness comes to earth in my/our experience of it. It cannot be removed from me. It is who I AM.

Prickles and Goo. I, spirit,  am a necessary corrective for linear prickles mind;  Linear focus is what I, gooey duck, need to thrive in a world which is material, anchored in the linear grid of spacetime.

“Ducks just let you be”. Quack quack quack. Quakers have a lot to offer in the experience of learning to listen. dove

The World is my Sermon

The World is my Sermon.

Sandra knew she was “wierd”. She stood between the two trunks of one ascending oak tree and looked up into the spiraling branches becoming smaller and smaller and closer and closer to “heaven”; five fingers on one hand spreadeagled on  the bark of the trunk in front of her, the other hand resting on the trunk behind her.
i am tree consciousness, i am human,  all humans dead and in my head can see their five fingers splayed before their eyes seeing through mine; we are “god’s” five finger exercise; we live forever in the present awareness. We get this awareness when we are in this body; or disembodied, through the awareness of the living who are aware; or when our divine consciousness is embodied anew.
She took the comfort offered by this rational story of irrational ie spirit based awareness. The Consolations of Philosophy , she had never forgotten the title of the ancient manuscript by Boethius. The title alone was sufficient – reading it was more than enough.
Walking on, her arms rising and falling and creating shadows on the path, she recalled Mitch whose arms reached up to “heaven”, lifting his torso slightly, an expression of delight on his face as he exhaled for the very last time. You can enjoy this lovely day with me, Mitch, I’m so glad to have you here in my head.
“If thine eye be not single, pluck it out.’  the words came unbidden. What can that mean? Does it mean to see through the third eye?  that seems to be a rational description of an “irrational” ie immeasurable, or spirit experience. Does it mean I am one with all human thought when I think thoughts all humans could have thought, or see things all humans have seen, or feel emotions all humans feel? And as for being cast into the fires of hell if mine eye be not single – this world is hell, oh hell, for so many. Aleppo dies, people starve, there is no work for the poor who resort to stealing, so often they are non white. Oh hateful skin color that is associated with greed and wealth and defines others by its insistence on its purity. Dang there is a non singleness right there. The focus on duality, the privileging of one pole of a duality  – white over “black” , male over female, rich over poor, work over play, human over every other life form, oh yes we assuredly have created a hell here on earth.
The ecstasy she had felt earlier, evaporated in waves of helpless sorrow, her steps veered off the path into the trees. Adjusting her spine into the comfort of the trunk where it exactly supported her, and letting her hands move like spiders into a comfortable hold on the bark, she looked up into the branches.  Tears rolled down her face, her  heart hurt heavy in her chest. The tree communed,
A crooked smile began to play on Sandra’s lips. That word “without” :  a green hill without a city wall?  outside the city wall or lacking a city wall?  Without her ? outside of her or when she no longer existed?  The greater unity that lay behind all language was her bliss.