The World is my Sermon.
Sandra knew she was “wierd”. She stood between the two trunks of one ascending oak tree and looked up into the spiraling branches becoming smaller and smaller and closer and closer to “heaven”; five fingers on one hand spreadeagled on the bark of the trunk in front of her, the other hand resting on the trunk behind her.
i am tree consciousness, i am human, all humans dead and in my head can see their five fingers splayed before their eyes seeing through mine; we are “god’s” five finger exercise; we live forever in the present awareness. We get this awareness when we are in this body; or disembodied, through the awareness of the living who are aware; or when our divine consciousness is embodied anew.
She took the comfort offered by this rational story of irrational ie spirit based awareness. The Consolations of Philosophy , she had never forgotten the title of the ancient manuscript by Boethius. The title alone was sufficient – reading it was more than enough.
Walking on, her arms rising and falling and creating shadows on the path, she recalled Mitch whose arms reached up to “heaven”, lifting his torso slightly, an expression of delight on his face as he exhaled for the very last time. You can enjoy this lovely day with me, Mitch, I’m so glad to have you here in my head.
“If thine eye be not single, pluck it out.’ the words came unbidden. What can that mean? Does it mean to see through the third eye? that seems to be a rational description of an “irrational” ie immeasurable, or spirit experience. Does it mean I am one with all human thought when I think thoughts all humans could have thought, or see things all humans have seen, or feel emotions all humans feel? And as for being cast into the fires of hell if mine eye be not single – this world is hell, oh hell, for so many. Aleppo dies, people starve, there is no work for the poor who resort to stealing, so often they are non white. Oh hateful skin color that is associated with greed and wealth and defines others by its insistence on its purity. Dang there is a non singleness right there. The focus on duality, the privileging of one pole of a duality – white over “black” , male over female, rich over poor, work over play, human over every other life form, oh yes we assuredly have created a hell here on earth.
The ecstasy she had felt earlier, evaporated in waves of helpless sorrow, her steps veered off the path into the trees. Adjusting her spine into the comfort of the trunk where it exactly supported her, and letting her hands move like spiders into a comfortable hold on the bark, she looked up into the branches. Tears rolled down her face, her heart hurt heavy in her chest. The tree communed,
A crooked smile began to play on Sandra’s lips. That word “without” : a green hill without a city wall? outside the city wall or lacking a city wall? Without her ? outside of her or when she no longer existed? The greater unity that lay behind all language was her bliss.