Leira’s Dream

img_2291This is a story about our earthly life being the dream of an angel in angel school, where lessons are learned and courses undertaken, based on the dream of the night before, and worked on in the dream to come.

It was Leira’s turn to tell her dream. The teacher had told them the story of Pandora. Pandora was a  divine child . She held in her hands a box she had been told NEVER to open – so what did she do? She opened the box she was never to open. Out crawled and scrambled and flew so many bad things. Ignorance,  Meanness, Cruelty, Hatred, War and an uncountable number of evils escaped before Pandora slammed the box shut keeping one inside. That one was Hope.

The students had chosen an Evil to  round up and return to the box by figuring out how to defeat it.   Leira’s group  had chosen Injustice. They had worked out a story of bullying and were studying different ways to cope with it. In the previous scenario they planned, last night’s dream,  Leira’s best friend, Zayela, had said she would be Leira’s mother, and Leira was to be the  child who was being picked on. It was Leira’s turn  to tell about the life she had dreamed.

Leira’s Dream:
“I awoke in my life as a  16 year old girl, and found my self longing not to go to school. But mum –  you Zayela – said I had to go, so there I was, and as my fear had warned me, the nasty girls were closing in like sharks around a bleeding prey. It was so much worse this time than yesterday because, in this 21st century  life, my teenage identity revolved around my internet connections and they were  posting such awful stuff and posing as me, and making my friends doubt me. They spread  rumors about things I’d done or said and I couldn’t keep up with it. They managed situations so I looked guilty even when I wasnt. Other kids began staying away from me … oh I could go on …it was SOOOOO painful.
Zayela, you arranged a parent conference, and this is what the  principal said she would  do. If I would accuse the bully girls in front of her,  she would see to it that they were expelled. But of course that wasn’t going to help ! That wouldn’t help my social life, or keep them away from me after school.  It would be nice not to have them at school but it wouldn’t help me.
Oh I was so desperate.
Zayela, you reminded me that Pain is Inevitable, Suffering a Choice –  but my suffering was just endless and I couldn’t see how not to suffer.
You reminded me, This too shall pass –  but it wasn’t passing. I just couldn’t see that it would ever end.
I forgot that I am an angel and we  have taken on Injustice. I forgot that I had chosen a side in the drama of Injustice.  I couldn’t go any further.”
She looked puzzled, and frustrated.  “You played well,”
she said, looking at two other smiling students.
“You dealt out injustice  so thick and so mean. I couldn’t figure out how to play the one who deals with Injustice.  I couldn’t figure out how to get it back in the box. So I killed myself.”

The students  gasped. Leira sat down heavily.

The teacher congratulated Leira for an emotionally charged story. The students recovered from their  surprise and agreed wholeheartedly.

It was time for recess. Leira and her friends talked animatedly about how she might handle it the coming night, what strategies to use, how to better remember the codes. They shared tips that each of them had picked up in their own dreams  so she could get Injustice packed up and returned to Pandora’s Box. That was the way to complete this chapter.

They returned after break and it was Zayela’s turn. Zayela talked about her experience of Sorrow and Pain. The burden of sorrow and pain Leira had agreed to carry  had fallen onto Zayela.  Injustice causes sorrow and pain. After her daughter’s death,  Zayela  found strength to go on by becoming involved with Habitat for Humanity. The teacher was very pleased with Zayela as she told of how she had remembered to walk through Acceptance of the Burden of Pain to Joy.

In the afternoon, it was the turn of those who deal out Injustice. They were newly arrived at this level and were still beginners. Micaela described her dream. She had had a rough home life and she had learned the tricks of cruelty – she said that life hadn’t been much fun for her either. After Leira’s death,  she discovered yoga in a counseling program for troubled teens, this became her life’s focus.   The teacher gave  Micaela points for Public Service, and Repentance as a precursor to Self Forgiveness. She would be able to take on the chase for Injustice in the coming night .  Leira hugged Micaela for playing so well and welcomed her to her cohort.  Himelca  on the other hand would have to repeat the dream life of misery  and try once more to deal with it – she had lived her whole life as a person who made others miserable. She was congratulated for her role, and helped to see how to play it differently in the coming night’s dream life.

The next day, the students waited excitedly to hear each other’s stories. Leira was smiling. She knew she would be graduating to a new challenge this time.

Leira’s story.
“ When I woke it was with that same dread and misery. Zayela, you were so great. She called me her darling warrior. You hugged me and I felt such love. Zayela told me I could take that amount of misery out of the world if I could just Accept it and find a way around it.   I think Zayela has made a new code,” Leira said, looking around.
“She told me to ask myself, ‘What good can come of this?’”
“What  of good can come of this? ” the teacher said. “That is a code. Very good Zayela.”
Leira continued happily, “ It was as miserable as ever but I just decided not to use Facebook. I changed my email – I had to keep changing it. Suddenly I didn’t seem to care about those bitches. Excuse me,” she said, smiling over at Himelca.
“ I found my good friends would make the effort to find me, I really dropped out of the social life of the crowd.  I would go to the library – I did really well in school that year and I found a passion for chemistry. My 17th year I met a boy in chemistry class. Oh my god, it was a version of Love Story. I’m really looking forward to waking up in that dream again.”

The teacher was plainly happy about this and asked Leira to talk some more about her strategies. Leira said it had been so helpful to have an adult who was able to let her see herself as something more than a miserable teenager.
“You know”, she said, “ in the early 21st century, humans were still dealing with the residues of  a Newtonian world view – seeing only the parts and not how everything is connected.  The world of subatomic physics  hadn’t really affected the mainstream thought. They talked about a web of being but didn’t really understand it,  even less the emotional web of being. In my loneliness, I figured out that a human can choose the emotional focus of their life, regardless of what happens; that as a human I had a choice to be part of any of the  emotional fields which surround the earth;  that when I  focussed on feeling so bad I couldn’t get out of the negative emotional field.
This time, I was very aware as I was experiencing the sorrow and pain and I focussed on letting it go. I focussed on giving myself some love and finding something to do that would reward me…”
“ What you focus on you get more of”, the class chanted, laughing.
“ Yes,” Leira continued, “ It was hard and it was lonely. I was lucky to have you mum, I mean Zayela” , she added  hurriedly. Leira paused then said thoughtfully,
“ Maybe I’d like to try it again without such a great mum”. She looked up at the teacher. “Could I get more points? Could I get to Love Story  faster if I did Injustice at a harder level?”
“We can talk about that at your next conference,” the teacher replied. “You know you can do Love Story along with the Pain sessions.  It’s all helping to bring Peace to Earth. I’m very pleased with the progress this group is making. You are doing great work. Continue with your story, Leira”.
“Well, yes, I focussed on what I was doing. I focussed on who I was, not who those bitches,  I’m sorry I still feel kind-of pained about it, tried to make me out to be. They would be sure to tell me all about some social outing I hadn’t been on whether I wanted to hear or not, they continued to spread rumors. I would cry at home – but then I would kind-of see myself from a distance and I felt a sort of love for myself. I felt like a warrior going through a war zone alone, but brave and determined. I focussed on what I was going to do when I got out of that hell hole of a school. Actually what brought it to an end, was the school finally set up a system of video monitors – there became fewer and fewer physical areas they could pick on me, and emotionally I lived in a different space. Lonely, yes, but independent.  And I found  real friends.. Especially in my Senior year.”

Leira paused. The bell rang.

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